The Bowling Theory

After a recent happy hour with some co-workers, we were trying to figure out the best way to divide the check. Since I'm pretty good at mental math, I took the check and was able to very quickly figure out the tip and divide the bill. My co-worker needed me to walk her through it a few times and no matter how I explained it, the numbers worked perfectly. She then made the comment, "I bet you were able to do that so well and quickly because you've had a couple glasses of wine." Actually... that's probably right and it has to do with something I like to call "The Bowling Theory."

When I was a teenager, bowling was actually a somewhat competitive activity, and I remember being pretty terrible ("Really? we can't use bumpers this one time??"). However, after my 21st birthday, the game changed a little bit. Whether I was playing at an alley or on my Wii, a pattern started to develop. We'd order our beers, and play our first game. The first few frames would start out pretty weak but as the game progressed, the later frames would be full of strikes and spares. At first, I assumed this was just do to warming up and re-acclimating to the game since I don't bowl all that often. However, the second game was always somewhat of a disaster. If it was due to acclimation, then the second games scores should be nearing 200 and this wasn't even close to being true.

That's when I discovered the Bowling Theory.

When you go bowling, everyone (well at least everyone in my groups of friends) tends to get a round of drinks. You get one drink to warm you up, release some tension, and relax you a little bit. It's enough to make you not over-think what you're doing and your body reacts a bit more naturally. However, about halfway through the first game - you get to the second drink. The second drink won't hit your system right away, so you're still playing off the endorphin from the first one as your body metabolizes the second. This usually happens around the time you're finishing the first game and are setting up for the second. By now you've finished both drinks and are feeling invincible... however, your body has enough alcohol in it that now it's not responding in the way you'd like it to be.

Even though I call it the Bowling Theory, I think it applies universally. It's why I could split the check quickly and accurately at the end of my second drink. It's why Wii and Kinect games are so much better after a beer. It's why you're so good at bar trivia in the middle of the game, but you can't remember the name of your favorite band by the end.


The Bowling Theory explains everything and maybe there's a take away from this. It's easy to go out and have a drink or two. According to the Bowling Theory, it also relaxes you enough to have your strengths shine with less stress or worry. So what would happen if we stopped there? Everyone has heard the concept of the designated driver who gets plenty of entertainment from watching his or her friends act silly. Let's take the concept a bit further - next time you're at a game night or trivia or you go bowling, let's see what happens if you stop after the first or second drink (this will depend on your tolerance/size/etc.). If the Bowling Theory is correct, you'll have stopped drinking right when you've peaked in terms of ability.

The Bowling Theory has so many entertaining applications. I love Rock Band and all of my friends know this. I often invite people to come over to play Rock Band after a night out. My instruments of choice are drums and singing. Drums require hand/eye/foot coordination, precise rhythm, and great timing. They're pretty tricky and playing them well requires practice, focus, and the ability to separate the movement of your arms from your feet. It is the perfect candidate for the Bowling Theory. Even though I have quite a bit of drumming experience under my belt, I tend to pick singing when I know I'm not in prime shape. Singing  is the opposite of drumming. You can basically hum the songs and get 90% or higher. You also get to watch whoever plays drums slowly fall apart as the night goes on. One of the best aspects of the Bowling Theory is that it doesn't affect your sheer will and self-confidence. Friends who might otherwise be excellent drummers, guitarists or keytarists (oh yes, I have the keytar) will come over, set their difficulty to hard and then need this singer to constantly bail them out. This is the Bowling Theory in action.

I'd love to see if the Bowling Theory works. If you're like me and would rather win than go nuts at a bar - I challenge you to test out the Bowling Theory next chance you get and report back. Since I couldn't find any back up on this - let's do our own research! Yes, having a couple of drinks and seeing how well you bowl is research. Isn't science so fun?

Who is ready to make some science?

Note: I was going to see if there was any sort of official research on this but I wasn't exactly sure how to search for it. If anyone knows of any studies done on the effects of small amounts of drinking, I'd love to read a scientific approach to the Bowling Theory.